CAN'T DO IT! REALLY TRIED-------JUST CAN'T DO IT.

You know ever since the "bad choice" was made recently by me it has really shook me up a bit. I have wished that I could take it back as it was something I should not have done. I am referring to the subject of my previous post. I began thinking that maybe it's time to drop it and let it go. Drop what and let it go? My story is what. I started this with a purpose in mind. That purpose was to allow people in the community the chance to have some factual knowledge about the goings on in their community. It isn't something I am forcing on anyone. People's lives are busy and a lot of folks will not take a look at what I offer. It's a shame because a lot of those that don't, if they had just started, would probably have become interested very quickly and continued on learning about this, and being glad they did. I began thinking that what I had been investing in was really negative energy that I was wasting, while my present life was passing me by while I was doing this. For a short time I had begun to convince myself that it was time to distance myself from this and make the best of the rest of my life. Well in reality I haven't devoted nearly the time to this I originally intended. It is something I can complete at my own desire as I wish.
I discovered a startling reality. I tried to pull all this down and I CAN'T.
I mean, I could pull it down. Something deep inside stopped me when I started to do it. Pulling it down and walking away just suddenly became NOT AN OPTION. I realized during those moments of trying to take this off the net that this is a part of me. This is how important this is, as it is my life and what happened to it as a result of the reckless & unfeeling actions of a few people and the only reason anyone is able to read this is because there was no wrong doing on my part to have brought about this type of action against me. MY BEING INNOCENT AND THE IMPACT THIS has made is something I choose to speak out about. It is so important to me that if someone takes me to court over it I am willing to go. If that happens then this whole story becomes and is my presentation to the legal system. I understand that under current laws that nothing may be in my favor. I could wind up with things getting very nasty against me. Things would not go against me because I am wrong, but rather because we have yet to create laws and governances to rule on the type of abuse I have suffered. I am a classic case of the need for the enactment of laws to prevent this type of thing happening to anyone of you out there in your own jobs and lives. No one should ever be forced to leave their job without JUST CAUSE. Just as my job at Finley's was so much more than a paycheck-----it was a position that was enterwoven into my life--------how could this story about it that I want to share be anything less than the fabric of my life in print.
I would love to return to a similar position with another company and resuming what I have done for so long. I have gone on though. God has been my constant companion, that is how it feels too me anyway. I say that because despite the challenges I have had thrown at me (and there have been many), it seems unexpected things happen ever so often in my favor, and at just the right time. I was never lazy and I always was told that God tends to help those who try to help themselves. I have always chosen to believe that. In fact today I do something that a lot of folks wouldn't consider a job. I actually perform a service that helps others and that is a good feeling to know you've maybe helped someone a little who needed and appreciated it. It also has taken care of my life financially to this point. I also get to sleep on my own pillow at home which was not a thing you did working at Finley's. I also have a lot of free time thru the week and I am sure people see me come and go at my house at all times of the day and they probably wonder how I survive. I do survive and God just seems to be there. Well it's getting that time that I need to go back to bed so will close this. Pretend every 24 hour day we are given is a mini lifetime. Try to take time to soak in the beauty around you that is free, and that our creator provided for us to enjoy. Life should never be so busy that you can't take a moment for yourself. It's a healthy thing to do, and it's ok to do it. Goodnight!